One thing that has always baffled me since my frontal cortex began to develop is the concept and perception of time. How can something that is completely made up control so much of our lives?
In a long attempt to figure out this crazy thing we call life, I will periodically jump in and question life and major aspects of it.
I'll begin from the origins of time. Time cannot be traced back to a specific day or time (so ironic) of when it was created, but it is believed that the first clock was a Sundial created by the Egyptians around 1500 BC. A Sundial worked by an object, typically a stick, being erected that would cast a shadow on the ground or a round stoned area. The very first concept of a clock is still how the modern clock works. The first mechanical clock wasn't invented until 1656 in Europe.
The most bizarre thought of time is that we have no idea when the universe was created. Each person has their own belief that ranges from scientific findings to religion, with none ever going to be proven. So, we really have no idea when time began let alone the universe.
Why I have trouble with the perception of time :
The concept of time only truly exists in this moment right now, as you're reading this line. For me, the writer, this is now the past. But now, as in right this second is the present. That moment of being in the present will never exist again. That sentence is now the past and the next sentence is the future. However, future time does not exist yet. This poses the question - is time being created? How is there a future if not? To break it down even further, how is it being done? Time cannot be created using time; that would be the past.
Now that we're past losing our minds, I posed this question to come to this sentiment. Time is made up in our mind. The feelings of anxiety that we have is due to the anxiousness of the future. The future is the biggest threat right? We're worried about losing a loved one, losing our jobs, getting hurt, but to take that even further - a person with an anxiety disorder worries that they're not living in the present or won't live in the present in the future. You may have to read that again, but think about it. Anxiety is created in our mind because we're worried about the future, which isn't even created yet. Living in the moment is the solution. The sooner you can take this problem and break it down to it's origin, it is that time is not real. We make it up and then we worry about it. So stop!
I once read this poem in college that rocked my world. I read this in a book I own titled, "ROTC Kills" when I became obsessed with it. I typed it in a Word Document, printed it and hung it on my wall so I could reread it over and over again. Even if you hate poetry, I believe it is worth the read (it pertains to time). The poem is by a brilliant poet named John Koethe, titled "Stele."
I love the past tense, but you can’t live there. I love the stories you believe add up to you, Though they never do. I love the way The rhythms and the tenses and the words Add up to nothing, or to a diversion, or to this: I know this place, and even think it’s true (If places can be true), but what does it say? That if I wake I’ll wake up into it, and then go on? Or is it just a state of mind, a place to linger in Or stay, whose seeming is the whole of its reality? I was born to indecision: I follow thoughts Wherever they lead, and dreams until it’s clear They won’t come true. I live in my imagination Most of the time, biding what’s left of my time And waiting for no one in particular to come— Waiting for an ending endlessly deferred, When you (the reader of my life) and I are one.
Why I love this poem - Koethe explains that you can't live in the past (physically or mentally), because it's not the present. He questions his whole existence and if he'll, 'wake up into it' (the present) 'and then go on?' (into the future). By the end he admits he's, 'waiting for an ending endlessly deferred' referring to the future when we all come to our inevitable death. This poem goes in and out of thoughts and time periods, just like we all do. We live in the past, aren't present in the present and worry about the future.
Now back to reality, why time bothers me. If you know me, I am literally late to everything that pertains to me. If I have to be somewhere for someone else, I'll be there on time because I respect people and their time (pfft). However, how crazy is it that we assimilate to a ticking fraction, which we refer to as a second, to all be at an agreed upon coordinate? I view time much more lazily due to the fact that we do have a finite existence and I believe that it should be spent doing what we enjoy and being happy (I'll dive into happiness in a future blog <- if the future really exists).
I do believe that there needs to be something like time however. If there isn't a measurement of life passing by, there would be no way to coordinate when we are to be somewhere in the present or future. It makes it much easier for our lives to be organized and projects to be completed.
To the contrary, do not take time so seriously. In a lot cases, it is a figment of our imagination.
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